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Live or Die but do not poison everything...

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you're living like a disaster, she said kill me faster [20 Apr 2007|02:20pm]
[ mood | satisfied ]

to whom it may concern: not that you care, but i've decided that you were never a good friend anyway. i'm not sure why i bothered wasting breath over you when you left. it doesn't bother me anymore that you've turned into what you are. that's your own thing and i hope it all comes back to bite you in the fucking ass. i never did anything to you and you are too fucking selfish and immature to realize that. so hope you're happy, hope everything is wonderful in your life, hope whatever you do turns out the best it can...and if not don't think you'll find any sympathy with me anymore. i'm tired of being too nice. i'm not gonna let you get to me anymore and i'm sorry i ever did. i wouldn't say i hate you, but the fact that you wake up every morning and go on with your life like you've done nothing wrong disgusts me. they say hindsight is 20/20, it's a good thing i have bad vision because in actuality i should have seen this coming a mile away.

P.S. i hope for once you fucking comment and say something for youself to me instead of behind my fucking back.

i know i'm coming to a place that may not be the best for me, but i'm determined to get through it with as little damage as possible. i don't have to worry about being alone anymore, but i'm realized that even then, it take a lot to stop.

but i couldn't ask for more than what i've been given and what i have right now in my life.

i am satisfied.


and one more thing: that two faced shit some of you are pulling stops right now. don't think you can just read my shit but i can't say anything about yours. that's pretty fucked up don't you think? be my friend or don't, but don't think you can be inbetween.
that is all.

5 Picked up the pieces| Take a piece of my soul

Friends Only [29 Sep 2005|04:36pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

i know i know everyone does this, but i think i have good reason.
anyways comment to be added if you actually read my journal and if you don't, don't bother it'd be a waste of both our times.
later days

23 Picked up the pieces| Take a piece of my soul

A long time ago, somewhere deep in the jungle... [06 Jul 2005|11:30pm]
[ mood | silly ]

I stole this idea from my best friend and she scanned all this wonder pictures for me so take the time to look ok? losta comments...

A Trip Down Memory LaneCollapse )

go go go!

14 Picked up the pieces| Take a piece of my soul

we could've all been spared your little kiss of life [06 Jul 2005|10:42am]
[ mood | crazy ]

okay everyone...

what is your favorite disney movie?
who's your favorite charchter in the moive?
leave your favorite (or one of your favorite) quotes from that movie.

4 Picked up the pieces| Take a piece of my soul

PB&J [05 Jul 2005|02:52pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

me and sarah are going to survive on peanut butter and jelly forever and ever!

what's your favorite kind of jelly?
peanut butter: crunchy or creamy?

27 Picked up the pieces| Take a piece of my soul

i ate a bug today! [04 Jul 2005|12:40pm]
[ mood | relieved ]

back finally. talk about boring weekend. i'm so ready to hangout with people.
give me something to try and do tomorrow.
i love you all!
and especially sean, he's been really great lately at making me smile. =)

3 Picked up the pieces| Take a piece of my soul

i'm sooooo glad i was unconcious for this [01 Jul 2005|01:19pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]

got my license. perfect exam. it took two hours.
was happy, till my mom blew a fuse.
she's good at ruining good days.
went to lunch with sean, which cheered me up a good deal...
but being back in the house makes me gloomy
i can't drive the BMW b/c dad didn't put me on the insurance
i can't go to the funeral b/c i'm working
i can't do anything this weekend b/c i will be having a horrible time in clearwater
(except for saturday when sean's there)
what was the point in me getting a license again?
mom's counting down the days till they leave for ireland...
...i am too

7 Picked up the pieces| Take a piece of my soul

can you top me off, kronk, be a pal? [30 Jun 2005|10:03pm]
[ mood | excited ]

driver's license tomorrow @ 9:00 AM
i know none of you slackers will be up then so wish me luck tonight!
thx. =)
later days

7 Picked up the pieces| Take a piece of my soul

someday i will walk away [26 Jun 2005|08:38pm]
[ mood | bored ]

so sean blew a fuse *cough cough* in my car the other day that worked the stereo and clock and stuff, but i got it fixed-zoorz today which was cool. i'm so excited about this friday...

in other news, my ear is infected and i can't help thinking of you Mike...eek

um i guess basically it's been pretty boring around here..
later days

7 Picked up the pieces| Take a piece of my soul

maybe you're better off this way [25 Jun 2005|11:51pm]
[ mood | awake ]

These are for Brooke, cause she askedCollapse )

in other news...my shot of espresso just kicked in. grrrrrrrrrreat.

1 Picked up the pieces| Take a piece of my soul

*bored* [23 Jun 2005|10:09pm]
[ mood | amused ]

*le sigh* more icons

APC/ToolCollapse )

Sarah McLachlanCollapse )

Quotes/RandomCollapse )

later days

8 Picked up the pieces| Take a piece of my soul

and there was much rejoicing [22 Jun 2005|10:05pm]
[ mood | happy ]

my dad got the tags for my car!
it's most definately street legal!
i'm so excited, i can take my beautiful car on the road...*sigh*
isn't it great?
it's my birthday present to me!
i'm so happy...

and sean bought me a new journal and i love him always and always...but not certain other members of his family. =/

15 Picked up the pieces| Take a piece of my soul

i've been having some fun [22 Jun 2005|11:55am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

i've been just fooling around with some pictures and what not for icons so check them out if you want...

ToolCollapse )

APCCollapse )

Fall Out BoyCollapse )

OthersCollapse )

whatcha think?


sometimes i want to shoot myself...just to disable
maybe then i would want to fix something

9 Picked up the pieces| Take a piece of my soul

mmmmmmmm cream-zoorz [19 Jun 2005|10:58pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

Click this for the car!Collapse )

25 Picked up the pieces| Take a piece of my soul

[16 Jun 2005|11:52pm]

Your Birthdate: May 21

Being born on the 21st day of the month (3 energy) is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life.

The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental.

There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to portray an easygoing, "couldn't care less" attitude.

You have a natural ability to express yourself in public, and you always make a very good impression.

Good with words, you excel in writing, speaking, and possibly singing.

You are energetic and always a good conversationalist.

You have a keen imagination, but you tend to scatter your energies and become involved with too may superficial matters.

Your mind is practical and rational despite this tendency to jump about.

You are affectionate and loving, but very sensitive.

You are subject to rapid ups and downs.

Take a piece of my soul

*cream* [16 Jun 2005|02:16pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

i am now the proud owner of a 1986 BMW 325. fuck yeah.
for all of you who have already seen it and driven in it. come on, it is one nice car.
hmmmmm i'm in love with my car
and drayton claims he doesn't like it but we all know he does. lol
it's goreous. once i get a hold of a digital camera i willpost pictures so you can all be jealous.

i'm going to go sleep in it or something
later days

6 Picked up the pieces| Take a piece of my soul

*excitment* [15 Jun 2005|10:31pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

so guess who will be purchasing a 1986 BMW?
i'm so excited.

now all i have to do is get my license...lol

I LOVE YOU SEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5 Picked up the pieces| Take a piece of my soul

and the poets are just kids who didn't make it [14 Jun 2005|10:33pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

fuck this.
i hate how my parents think i'm so freaking naive about shit. i'm not stupid contrary to popular belief, i do know a thing or two about...stuff and if i don't i mean i know people who do. being here makes me want to shoot myself in the face.
i don't want to wait till the end of the summer.
i'm so sick of this house and the people in it.

...i need to be better for myself...
i'm overly critical of no one except the person that should matter
i am for the lose.

4 Picked up the pieces| Take a piece of my soul

i'm hopelessly hopeful you're just hopeless enough [11 Jun 2005|10:56pm]
[ mood | restless ]

some days i am sad...not for my own reasons but for others.
today was the push i needed to write this and not feel corny b/c it's so true.

To all my friends:
There's some saying that has to do with saying what you feel about someone b/c you might now get another chance and i think this is true and yet it's really hard to do sometimes. i'm going to try though. i had a real scare in my life recently and i found myself in tears one night with sean on the phone. i was so afraid b/c i felt like i would let all of you down with what happened, i was worried about my friends and any other person should have and would have been worried about themselves but i was worried about you all. i was so upset and whenever i am,i ramble until something i say makes sense and evenutally it did and it was this: i need my friends, i need you all...just as much as you need me. i'm not trying to sound concieted or anything when i say that, i mean it to be complimentary in a way. i see myself as a person who needs to help people, i see myself falling under the catagory of a protector, i will do anything for my friends, for the people i care the most about. i feel that i was put here to help in anyway i can, to be the best friend, to be just a good friend. i feel like i was put through my own personal hell to come out and realize that it was my "job" to make sure no one ever felt the way i did, to make sure my friends never got to where i was at....and so i was crying and saying how bad it would let you all down. what would happen when you needed me and i couldn't be there or you were afraid to ask? i didn't want that at all. for some reason the thought of not being able to help scared me and that's when i realized...i need you. i need my friends so much. you guys are my life, you guys are a huge part of me, and i don't know what i would do without you. so i kinda just wanted to say thanks and let you know that.

to donnie: i'm sorry that what happened hurt you so much. you know i would never hurt you intentionally. you're my big brother. i love you.

to sarah: i'm here always, i'll do anything. i love you with every bit of my heart.

4 Picked up the pieces| Take a piece of my soul

come forth, bear witness [10 Jun 2005|10:52am]
[ mood | blah ]

you laugh about it when it's all over...
but it still leaves you feeling a little empty.
i suppose i have the rest of my life and i'll always have Sean.
put those two together and a few years don't make a difference.
i love you Sean, so so so so much. you are amazing. i wouldn't have been able to have done this without you.
i love you Sarah b/c you are the most wonderful girl i have ever had the chance to know. you are the best, thank you so much. you mean the world to me.
and Mike....if it were, but it's not...not Michael.

i still need to get my blasted schedule, i've probably missed the date now though haven't i? grr.


Blame everyone but me for this mess
And my back has been breaking from this heavy heart
We never seemed so far
I'm hopelessly hopeful you're just hopeless enough

But we never had it at all

And the record won't stop skipping
And the lies just won't stop slipping
And besides my reputations on the line
We can fake it for the airwaves
Force our smiles, baby, half dead
From comparing myself to everyone else around me

4 Picked up the pieces| Take a piece of my soul

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